Sunday, April 08, 2012

Regret is the name I've given you.




Every year, around this time, I think about you:
So what is this, exactly? Do I call it an accounting of what might have been? I certainly entertained that thought more than once--and as I have recently discovered, so have you. Not quite the marriage of true minds as we were so quick to label it then, because we had our colossal share of impediments. Two months after that, you got married.

You were unexpected. You were every cliche visited upon me by ghosts of journals past. You made me roll a Will saving throw when I had -3 Wisdom; I could never win with you. But you were very real, and in the end, this will only be a remembering.
We were young. Once. See above evidence of every little emotion I felt obliged to document and wear on my sleeve. Someone once told me you have a son now, but maybe that's just my subconscious reminding me that I couldn't have made a difference anyway. Still every year, around this time, my heart curls up a little, into itself, as if it's something flammable come too close to the fire.

6 comments:

Dianne Khu said...

I love the song. :-)

dementedchris said...

I love listening to Newton Faulkner! :D Look for his song Dream Catch Me, Di, another favorite :)

Osing said...

I understand what you mean. I also still have moments like that sometimes, of my heart curling up a little into itself. You've said it beautifully. Also, this isn't the first time I've heard of Newton Faulkner but this is the first time I've heard this song and I love it. I love Dream Catch Me din! Also I Need Something :)

dementedchris said...

Oz, I also like that song of his about how 'Everyone should smile more'!

cyberlaundry said...

Beautifully written. I am clueless but this is lovely. Hugs.

dementedchris said...

Thank you, Kamelle! Hugs back. :)